Mad Journalists Threaten Dogs !

October 19th, 2013

With apologies to and in acknowledgement of the fine and ethical doctors,lawyers and journalists of my acquaintance, and to Private Eye.

Follwing today’s front page of The Not-the-Eastern-States- And-Don’t-You-Forget-It Australian with the (possibly literally) screaming headline “DOG BITE PAIN” which featured the quotes (selective, we hope) of Dr Jenna Raleigh-Sation : “People need to realise that dogs are very dangerous” and Ms Ambulance-Chaser of Sue,Grabbit & Run attorneys-at-law (Australasia) Inc.: “the bacteria in a dog’s mouth increased the risk of infection and sometimes led to limbs being amputated”, this website sent a fearless reporter to seek the opinion of a WA Vet, any WA vet, Dr Y Dinyaskmee about this, by any standards, serious issue of dog bites and children.

Fresh from a severe mauling at the hands of a six week old Labrador puppy that he had been inoculating Dr Dinyaskmee had this to say:

“Well,I read the article and immediately thought of  all the people dogs have helped : Guide Dogs,Hearing Dogs,Assistance Dogs,dogs that visit hospitals and old age homes (including PMH), dogs that provide companionship to the elderly, the infirm and, most pertinently children. Kids and adults that would be unbearably lonely if they didn’t have the unconditional love of their dog. Dogs help physical health as well as mental health – children born into a home with a dog are proven to have a better immune system.And I could go on .. It would have been nice if Dr Jenna had acknowledged this by saying “a tiny minority of dogs are very dangerous” or even just used the word “some” but then I guess she just wouldn’t be Dr Jenna”.

“Not sure about Ms Ambulance-Chaser’s remarks either.Great exposure for her law firm but I have to say that cats have way nastier bacteria in their mouths than dogs and the only animals I know that have worse oral bacterial flora than pussycats are – you and me! And yes, human bites are very dangerous! In fact Dr Jenna, if we take out the tiny, tiny proportion of untimely demises and injuries from sharks, flying foxes,dogs and other animal related accidents (horses,livestock etcetera) I would venture that most unnatural deaths and assaults can be laid at the feet of people (in or out of cars). So Dr Jenna and “The Not-The-Eastern-States Australian” can we have a follow-up front page article on the risk posed to children by — other people! No.I thought not.”

Ignoring the fifteen year old toothless pampered Pug who was exposing his left femoral artery with a series of violent lacerations to his inner thigh, our stoical veterinarian continued:

“This is not my field and I don’t have access to the data to support it but I would hazard a guess that a sizeable proportion, probably a majority, of dog bites sustained by children are from their own family dog. Owning a dog is a personal choice that almost 50% of Australians choose to make – are we suggesting that should be illegal? A further tranche of cases would involve dogs owned by family or friends, and as seems inevitable with statistics quoted in this kind of reporting there is no indication of severity; just total numbers. It seems to suit the journalists involved to leave the threat of random dog attacks hanging in the air to terrify their readers. That’s gossip, not serious journalism.”

“Ms Ambulance-Chaser touches on irresponsible dog ownership. She is on surer ground here – there are a tiny minority (that phrase again) of owners oblivious to the capacity of their dog to cause inconvenience and, in rare cases, injury to fellow citizens. A meathead and a dangerous dog are a potent combination. Thankfully there are very few people in our community like this, because finding the dog after an attack, bringing the owner to court and extracting an appropriate punishment seems inordinately difficult. Perhaps Ms Ambulance-Chaser would like to turn her attention to our judicial system.”

“They’re right about one thing though – dog bites hurt!”

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